Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i drank out of a bidet.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Randomize
