I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
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