good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
