I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i just had sex bonerless
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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