Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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