Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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