"it" just moved
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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