32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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