Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
