maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
