OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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