Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Randomize
