What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
