Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
