Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
