did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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