my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
