The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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