I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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