so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
