Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
