my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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