Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize