ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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