We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
