I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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