She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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