i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
