I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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