let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
