I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize