Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
