All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
