I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I can't trust your balls anymore.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
