But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
