He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
