This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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