we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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