She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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