There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
