Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
