i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
