Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I am puke
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
