explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Boobs are out for the taking
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
