Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
