i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
