I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
