Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Randomize
