think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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