somebody snuck up and got me drunk
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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