Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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