Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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