the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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