I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
