He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
