My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
