i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize