My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
