The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize