Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
it's like iHOP with fire
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
