I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
