I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
