You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
