btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
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