I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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