literally had 100 drinks last night.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
