Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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