"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
