This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
