I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
