Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
