so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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